When it All Falls Down

I am not speaking of Jericho’s wall, Lauryn Hill, or Donnie McClurkin’s “We Fall Down, but We Get Up” hit song. I am speaking of our decisions to turn our face against God. I am speaking of when we say that our plural way of doing things are more enticing than God’s singular way of delivering us from trouble.

Not long ago I called a Pastor friend and asked to borrow about $2,000.00 – I really needed this money and I was certain they understood that. The first reply I received was, “let me pray about it.” I love this person and they also loved me. I began to realize that I was in trouble for the first time when the reply was, “Let me pray.” When my friend finish praying she came back to me a few days later and said with clear voice - “Brother you are in trouble with God, and I can’t help you- If I give you this money it would be like I never gave you anything at all.”

I have not talked with my friend since that conversation (almost 2yrs ago) but I fully agreed with her then, and I still agree with her now. (Friendship is not based on frequency of communication – we are as tight as ever please believe me!) I understand that I had made a decision to induce sufferings in my life. Now I wanted help but God said not so, you will live this one out.

I remember managing a department store with senior management who was a micro manager. Each day this guy would come in the store, before he said good morning and how are you doing? He would say, “Tell me what is happening?” This man wanted a complete run down of each detail- I swear this would piss me off so much that I eventually quit the job.

Recently I started working in my area of study (social service industry/mental health and addictions) and was blessed to work very close to the Executive Vice President and the President directly. I was sitting across from the Executive VP one day while she was talking to the President on a phone call. To my surprise the Executive VP was running down so many small details of the office that I was totally shocked. Immediately, I began to notice that each day this was the routine. First a phone call would happen, then a detailed chronological order of events that were taking place in the office followed…all the way down to who made the coffee (ok I may have exaggerated, but just a bit).

I ran outside to make a personal call; I needed to get my old senior manager on the phone. When he answered I rushed him with my apology. I said this is Darrin Carter and I called you to apologize for all my stubbornness and rebellion towards you. Today I have learned that when I am correct stubbornness is tenacity, but when I am wrong rebellion is called wickedness and even is compared to witchcraft in the scripture.

When it all falls down, you and I are forced to live with our ignorance except we allow somebody to tell us something better. Kanye West has a song out, “Can’t tell Me Nothing,” and to no surprise the hook of the chorus line is, “uh -uh you can’t tell me nothing.”

Pharaoh was warned to let God’s people go, and he said no. This man caused all kinds of sufferings to hit his people, himself, and his land. God allowed his heart to be fixed so that he could not change his mind.

When Saul met Jesus on the road to Damascus he could have put up a good fight, instead he lost his sight and learned something greater. Saul became Apostle Paul and the rest is history.

Moses could have seen the promise land, but he got offended after the people were too much to handle. Jehovah told Moses that he would give him a new group but Moses said no.

When it all falls down- what will be your reaction when you received what you said you wanted?


Carter with a “K”